Doubting Your Heart
by Percyjacksonfan3
Summary: What happens when Percy finally tells Annabeth about that kiss with Rachel? How does she react? And how does it affect the current state of their relationship? It may be slightly OOC and unrealistic but it's a decent story, I promise.


**If you guys are looking for an angsty short multiple one shot story check out OrangeNinjaAttack's story called Taking You For Granted! It's great, I promise!**

**Disclaimer: If you guys think I own anything you're as crazy as Chris Rodriguez was before Dionysus fixed him up. Sadly, none of PJO or HOO belongs to me.**

If Annabeth had to choose one moment to freeze in time it would be this one.

After all the wars, all the tension between Greeks and Romans- thank Zeus that had been resolved- and all of the constant worries and stress, Annabeth was finally back where she belonged.

Lounging on the couch in the Jackson apartment with Percy's arms wrapped around her torso and her back to his was sitting in between his legs and she wished she could just freeze this moment and stay like this forever. She could feel his heartbeat through that layers of clothing that seperated them and she smiled at the fact that she could still make his heart race after all they'd been through.

Percy lifted an arm from around her waist and started to play with her hair and Annabeth closed her eyes and leaned back into him even farther. He ran his fingers through her curls and Annabeth found it more soothing than anything else in the world. If she were to just die right here, right now, she would be happy.

Her orange camp t-shirt lifted up a bit from the waist of her jean shorts, revealing some skin but Annabeth didn't care. If she couldn't be comfortable around Percy who could she be comfortable around? He knew her better than anybody, even herself, just like she knew him better than he did. Annabeth had stopped being scared of that fact a long time ago. She and Percy were just two halves of the same whole, inseperable. She truly believed they were soul mates, nothing would ever change that. Nothing would ever change their love.

Percy hummed and Annabeth turned her head to look at him out of the corner of her eye. He was leaning back, running a hand through her hair and smiling contentedly. His skin was smooth and tan, his muscles showing through the whiteness of his t-shirt. His swimming trunks were a green that was eerily similiar to the color of his eyes and his camp necklace was just peeking out from the neck of his shirt.

"What?" She asked him softly, shifting her position around to face him, cross legged. His hand fell from her hair and landed on her knee and his eyes opened lazily.

He smiled and Annabeth couldn't help but catch her breath for a second. "I could get used to this," he told her.

She smiled and pulled her knees to her chest, turning sideways to rest her head on his chest, just above his heart which was now beating steadily and constant. Reassuring.

"Me too," she told him.

Today was one of those days where Sally had left with Paul to go to some meeting or other and Percy and Annabeth had the apartment to themselves. It was one of those days where they just reveled in the fact that they were still together, still alive. They had made it out, against the odds, they had beaten everything that had been placed in their path.

By the end of the war Annabeth had stopped fighting for the gods. She had given up fighting for mortals, for revenge and for the well being of the world. Annabeth had become so tired of everything that she hadn't been driven by the thought of her dad, Camp Half-Blood or even her demigod friends.

By the end of the war all Annabeth had been fighting for was her and Percy being together. That had been where her passion and anger had come from, that had been her driving force. As selfish as it was she had fought for Percy and nothing else. Not a person, or object or dream... just Percy.

And they had won. So she had gotten him.

Now she intended to keep him. For the rest of her life and beyond, she would label him as hers. Hers and no one else's. After everything they had been through she was not going to lose him again. Not ever. That she swore to herself.

She looked at him now and leaned in to kiss him. It was a chaste kiss but Annabeth's lips still tingled when she pulled away and she savoured the feeling.

"Tell me something that you've never told anyone." She said.

He leaned back and hummed. "I'm in love with you more than I ever imagined possible."

She laughed and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in hers. She looked down and played with his fingers. "Be serious Seaweed Brain. Tell me one thing, anything."

He frowned. "But you already know everything about me."

Annabeth smiled, letting the warmth those words caused course through her. "There must be one thing."

He thought for a second before taking a deep breath. His sea green eyes met hers and to Annabeth they seemed... almost worried.

"Percy?" She asked him concerned. "What is it?"

"There is one thing," he said slowly. He grimaced and then rushed on. "But Annabeth it was years ago, before we started dating."

Her eyes widened. Annabeth had seen movies and read books, she knew what those words led up to. "Percy," she said very carefully anc precisely, trying to keep the worry out of her voice and failing. "What are you trying to say?"

"I kissed Rachel." He blurted out, staying absolutely still to gauge her reaction.

For a second her mind was blank. She just sat there, staring at him, mouth open. Whether in shock or horror she wasn't sure.

Rachel. Of course it was Rachel, Annabeth would have laughed if she didn't feel so hurt and betrayed. Even years after she had pushed aside her jealousy and uncertanties Rachel always came back to make her feel insecure all over again.

"When?" She managed to force out.

Percy seemed to swallow before answering, his eyes darting all over her face. "Before my last mission with Beckendorf."

She closed her eyse and let out a wavering breath. Great. Just-

Gods, she couldn't even joke about it to herself.

It shouldn't have hurt her so much. She had always suspected something had happened betweeen Percy and Rachel. Annabeth wasn't blind, she had known Rachel liked him. She just hadn't known if Percy had felt the same way.

Was this her answer?

"I have to go," she said, and she hated the way her voice shook when she said it. Hated the way all those old doubts and insecurities were crawling back to plague her brain.

She stood up and grabbed her bag, noticing that her hand was shaking too.

"Annabeth," Percy said. "Annabeth- hey, wait a second."

She turned at the door to face him. "I have to go Percy, I'll-I'll call you later."

He grabbed her wrist as she was turning, gently, but firm enough to root her in place. "Hey, let's talk about this."

She laughed but it was an empty laugh. "What's there to talk about?" Annabeth asked him. "You kissed Rachel and you didn't tell me. Why should we have to talk about that?"

"Annabeth-"

"Let me go, Percy."

She could tell by the widening of his eyes and the slackening of his grip that it was her tone that made him pause. Even Annabeth heard it. Usually she would get angry at him when he did something to make her mad or unsettled. Usually she would fight back.

This time she sounded sad, hurt and defeated. Betrayed and lied to. Her voice was full of doubt and Annabeth didn't lie to herself and pretend that those weren't tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

She turned around and opened the door, pausing for only a second.

"I'll call you."

"Annabeth-"

But she was gone.

oooOOOooo

Annabeth wasn't good with emotional confrontation. When things got hard she ran away. It was what she had done for years and it was what she was doing now, she realized that. She blocked out the image of Percy's hurt eyes that had burned itself into her mind and she blocked out the fact that her chest felt constricted. When Annabeth didn't know what to do (which wasn't often, but it did happen) she ran.

She had run from her dad and her new step-mother. She had run from the idea of being an older sister. She had run from Thalia's death for weeks until she finally let herself cry it out and she had run from the idea that Luke was a traitor.

She had run from her feelings for Percy. It had taken her an entire quest in which they almost died more than several times before she could even admit she had a crush on him. It had taken her years to admit even to herself that her feelings for him were much, much deeper than just a simple crush.

Rachel had almost ruined Annabeth and Percy's relationship when they had just been on the brink of admitting their feelings for each other. Now, when she and Percy had one of the strongest relationships Annabeth hadn't even imagined, she was posing a threat once again.

Annabeth leaned back against the wall of the elevator, sighing and closing her eyes. Her hands raised themselves to hold her head and she took deep breaths. Questions raised up to the forefront of her mind and no matter what she did she couldn't ignore them.

Did Percy kiss Rachel? Or was it the other way around? Did one of them pull away? If so, who was it? How long did it last? Did Percy like it? Does he want it to happen again?

Why was this such a big deal when it had happened years ago? Did this mean that her relationship with Percy wasn't as strong as she'd thought it was?

Why hadn't he followed her out here to try to get her to come back? To talk to him and reassure her that without a doubt he loved her.

Was her whole relationship with him a lie?

Doubt filled her and suddenly Annabeth called into question their entire relationship. They fought a lot, that must be a bad sign. They must not be as compatible as everyone told them, as they themselves had thought. Percy had so many annoying habits that drove Annabeth crazy. That was bad right? She was supposed to love everything about him. Had he lied to her about anything else? Had it only been one kiss? Was there more?

Tears pricked her eyes as Annabeth hailed a taxi.

Did Percy really love her? That all consuming love that she felt for him? Would he give up anything and everything to be with her?

As she slid into the taxi cab Annabeth took a deep breath and then another. She would not break down, she would not do this.

This morning she had been so certain, thinking that nothing could change her love for Percy. Look where she was now.

"Where to miss?" The cab driver asked.

Annabeth looked up to see that he looked to be about in his forties. A mop of dark hair, pale skin and wrinkles. Laugh lines around his eerily sky blue eyes that looked very familiar.

He studied her intently. "Are you alright young lady?"

She closed her eyes. "Please," she whispered, "just take me home."

oooOOOooo

As the taxi pulled over to the side of the road beside Annabeth's apartment building the driver turned to her.

The whole ride had been quiet, nothing but the buildings passing by, the gray sky that signaled rain to come and the occasional glance from the man in front of her.

Annabeth opened her bag to search it for change. "How much do I owe you?"

She looked up to meet the blue eyes and suddenly she knew how they looked familiar to her.

Thalia had eyes that were very like those. Thalia and Jason.

"No charge," the taxi man said and his voice came out in a rumble. Like thunder. "I was heading home anyway."

Annabeth tried to smile at him but she felt it came out as more of a grimace. So she settled on a whispered "thank you," and moved to get out of the car.

"Miss?" The cab driver said.

She stopped and turned around to look back at him, noticing for the first time his pinstrip suit. "Yeah?"

He searched her face for a bit before nodding. "I have a nephew who had himself a girlfriend. Looked a lot like you." The driver gave her a strange smile. "He did something stupid one day, telling her about a past... friend of his who his girlfriend hadn't liked." When he spoke next the driver's eyes pierced hers. "They got into a fight and didn't speak for days- a long time for those two."

Annabeth's mind was so distracted and confused she didn't speak for a bit. "Why are you telling me this?"

The man's mouth twitched. "Well my nephew loved his girlfriend. More than anybody I've ever seen. And she loved him too. Just as much. And it took a bit, but in the end they were strong enough to work through their problems and they became absolutely sure in their relationship because deep down they knew that despite what had happened in the past, they were meant to be together."

"I'm telling you all this because they were around your age and you look like you could use some advice. So here's some for you." The man leaned towards her a bit. "Don't give up and let doubt ruin what could be a great relationship. The best one seen in years."

Before Annabeth could say anything the man dipped his head. "Nice speaking to you, miss."

She paused, her mouth open, before closing it and grabbing her bag. Just as she was closing the door behind her she thought she heard someone mutter 'demigods'.

But when she turned around the cab, and the driver, were gone.

Strange. She hadn't even heard the car start back up again.

She shook her head and made her way to the building, nodding hello to the receptionist in the lobby. She jabbed the elevator button for floor 3 and stood stiocally with 2 other people in the elevator. She didn't know them and didn't acknowledge them in any way other than a nod hello. When the elevator stopped at her floor she grabbed her bag strap on her shoulder and made her way out without looking back.

Once she reached her door she opened it and immediately placed her bag on the rack next to her. She put her keys on the marbled kitchen counter and without looking at the packed boxes piled around her or turning on any lights other than the one for the hallway, she took a shower.

She and Percy were going to move in together in their own apartment. So Annabeth had started to pack. The mere thought sent a pang through her chest, ending directly at her heart.

Her clothes were dropped on the floor, her hair was taken out of it's ponytail, and the ring from her left hand ring finger was placed carefully on the dish by the sink.

The hot water was relaxing, shampooing her hair was soothing. As the bubbles ran down from the top of her head Annabeth finally let herself reflect on what had happened that day.

Positives: Percy had been honest with her. She was still in a relationship with him and their engagement hadn't been called off in any frantic argument.

Negatives: Percy had kissed Rachel. Or she had kissed him, Annabeth still wasn't exactly sure on that. He hadn't told her. She had stormed out. They currently weren't speaking unless she called him.

Percy had lied to her. Percy. The one person she had trusted to always be honest, no matter how hard it was. He had lied.

But more importantly, he had lied to her.

She let the tears fall and they mixed with the droplets of water coming from the showerhead. She pretended she wasn't crying. She pretended she wasn't hurting.

For a moment Annabeth thought about Iris-messaging Piper or Hazel, but then she thought better of it. They were probably with Jason and Frank and Annabeth didn't want to disturb them.

So what was she going to do.

When she stepped out of the shower weariness overcame her. She bent to pick up her clothes on the ground and stopped to stare at the ring.

It was a beautiful ring, she fell in love with it each time it caught her eye. The gem in the center of the silver metal was a beautiful green that always reminded her of Percy's eyes. On either side there was a shining grey gem that sparkled exactly like diamonds.

It was beautiful and priceless. She hurt all the more just looking at it.

Annabeth snatched it up, opened the bathroom door, and threw it as hard as she could across the room. She heard it hit a wall and land on the floor with a soft ping.

She didn't bother to try to find it. Right now she was exhausted and tired and hurting. The best remedy for that?

Sleep.

So she got into her pj's (white tank top and baby blue shorts) and fell onto bed, making sure to burrow deep into the blankets.

oooOOOooo

It was the thunder that woke her up.

Not the loud, banging coming from the door to her apartment, or the yells of the boy she loved coming from the other side of it. It wasn't the aching of her heart or the rain.

It was the thunder.

As she opened her eyes she groaned, trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes. Her vision focused and Annabeth took a guess by how dark it was that it was about the middle of the night.

That was when she heard the knocking- read pounding- coming from her door.

And the voice that accompanied the knocking? Well that was none other than Annabeth's fiancee.

The memories of yesterday came back to her and Annabeth dropped her head back down on the bed. She was not ready to deal with this right now. She was tired and emotional and knowing her she was about to either start crying or yelling.

Or both. Anything could happen.

Steeling herself Annabeth got up and grabbed her fluffy pink bathrobe and opened the door. She could make out Percy's voice clearly now, asking her to "open up this door or else he would open it himself-"

She opened the door to see him freeze in place, mouth open, hand in the air apparently ready for some more banging.

At the sight of him her mind shook of any remnants of sleepiness and her heart skipped a beat. She almost moved to go in his arms, wanting to be held and safe, but at the last second she kept herself in place.

Gods she had missed him. It had only been a couple of hours but Annabeth had missed the way he made her feel, even when she was hurting because of him.

Because it showed she still cared. If it was anyone else she would try to let it go, but with Percy she would take whatever emotions he inspired in her, no matter what they were. If she was hurting because of him she would take it, because at least he was still there in her life with her.

She forced a smile, pushing her deep thoughts aside. "Seaweed Brain," she said tiredly, "you do remember that I gave you a key, right? There's no need to wake everybody else in the building."

His eyes took her in, lingering a bit on her left hand- or rather what wasn't on it. But when he met her eyes again and smiled he was sheepish. "Oh... yeah."

She shook her head. "So is there a reason you're here in the middle of the night?"

Annabeth blinked and realized that he was wearing his pj pants and a baggy sweater that had obviously been thrown on in a hurry. He hadn't even bothered to put on some socks under his sneakers.

He took a deep breath and Annabeth noticed him reach up to scratch the back of his neck- his telltale sign of being nervous.

He glanced up from the floor to meet her eyes and finally he spoke.

"You didn't call me."

She closed her eyes and leaned against the doorframe. "Percy, I was going to-"

He cut her off. "You didn't call me, so I got nervous. I started getting worried that you were hurt and mad and were going to break up with me. I tried to get to sleep but I- I just couldn't. So I decided I wouldn't be able to without knowing for certain. I need to talk to you. I need to tell you something, because I think you got the wrong idea today."

"Percy, believe me I get it. You kissed Rachel before you were sent on an incredibly dangerous mission and lost Beckendorf. You didn't tell me. I understand perfectly."

He shook his head. "No see, that's the thing, I don't think you do." He grabbed her hands and met her eyes. "Annabeth," he said seriously, "Rachel kissed me. It lasted barely two seconds and to be honest I forgot that it had even happened until today. Annabeth, the kiss meant nothing. It was more of a good bye, good luck kiss than anything else. Rachel and I didn't even like each other. And you know that she's the Oracle now. So what's the problem?"

She closed her eyes and pulled her hands away. "Percy the problem is you didn't tell me about it. And how can I know that you haven't forgotten anything else that I should know? For all I know you and Piper could have kissed and you didn't tell me."

The look that came on his face at her words was appalled and it made Annabeth's mouth twitch although she was sincerely glad Piper wasn't there to get offended. "Piper? Gods, Annabeth she's like... my friend."

This time a smile came on her face. Fleetingly, but it was still there. Then it was gone.

Suddenly, looking into Percy's eyes, she felt a lump rise in her throat and wrapped her arms around herself. "But how can I know?" Annabeth whispered.

Percy looked agitated for a second before he grabbed her hands again. "Annabeth," he said seriously and with no room for her to brook an argument. "I love _you_. I'm in love with _you_, not Rachel, or Piper, or even Hazel. You. You're all there is for me and if I had to choose one person to spend the rest of my life with I wouldn't even hesitate for a second. I've been in love with you since I was 14, and before that Zeus knows how big of a crush I had on you." Thunder rumbled overhead and a grin made it's way on Percy's face. "Okay, scratch that. Zeus doesn't even know. Maybe ask Aphrodite."

A laugh burst from her and Annabeth felt a weight lift from her. She stepped forward and without needing to say anything Percy opened his arms and wrapped them around her trembling frame.

He smelled like sea and cookies and as Annabeth buried her face in his sweater she was instantly soothed.

"I'm sorry for freaking out," she mumbled. "I just- all those insecurities from before came rushing back and I didn't know and it took me off guard."

He nodded and his arms tightened slightly around her. "You're the only one for me," he said, "don't ever doubt that."

She smiled a bit and pulled away. Suddenly remembering they were standing in a hallway in the middle of the night and anybody could walk up and see them at any moment.

"So..." she said. "Were you planning on coming inside?"

Percy grinned and bent to kiss her, soft and sweet. "If you'll have me."

"Always," she replied, taking his hand to lead him inside her apartment, turning on lights as she did so.

As she closed the door behind her she smiled. After her talk with Rachel first thing tomorrow she would be searching all day for a sparkling engagement ring that was (hopefully) laying on her floor in plain view.

Gods help her if it wasn't.

oooOOOooo

**So I wasn't sure whether to post this story or not before I decided what the heck? Who cares if it's a little out of character and unrealistic? It was fun to write but the ending kinda sucks :/ **

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed it! Review please!**

**Love you all!**

**Percyjacksonfan3**


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